This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
