I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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