I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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