Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
