I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
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