Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
