she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize