Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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