The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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