This girl is more easily done than said...
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize