I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
