You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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