I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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