If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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