Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
