My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
