she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
