I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
