That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
