found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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