best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
