Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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