you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I think my vagina is haunted
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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