I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
