susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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