do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
