I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
you inspire me to be a worse person
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
