Someone shit on the floor
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
