theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize