Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
