i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
