YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
