if you like me you must not know who I am
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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