I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Randomize
