I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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