Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
