This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
