eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Randomize
