I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
