So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
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