the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Bring me that man meat
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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