I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
