I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
