There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
