i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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