Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I just blew my weed a kiss
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
