dude i'm inner monologue high
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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