I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
