Umm I'm too high to move.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
