If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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