I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
