My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
