The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Randomize
