what if every blade of grass was a penis?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Randomize
