Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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