you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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