return my video game
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
