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somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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